Raising Children in the 21st Century: A Parenting Challenge

INTRODUCTION

Parenting typologies, for example, legitimate, tyrant, tolerant and careless created by Baumrind (1967, 1971) were observed to be a significant component in characterizing the conduct and frame of mind of guardians toward their children (Joshi, Sharma, and Mehra, 2009). Moreover, the cooperation among guardians and children is related with social environment (Keshavarz and Baharudin, 2009). This circumstance happens on the grounds that culture impacts numerous areas of family life including the manner in which guardians mingle their children (Kagitcibasi, 1996). Simmons and Conger (2007) took a gander at the contrasts among moms and fathers as to definitive, tyrant, liberal, and uninvolved parenting styles. Adolescents self-reports of parents‘ responsiveness and demandingness as well as observational data of parents‘ responsiveness and demandingness were used to classify parents into different parenting typologies (in contrast to using median-splits on measures). Guardians who were high on both responsiveness and demandingness were named definitive, while those low on these two components of parenting were viewed as uninvolved. Guardians who were low on responsiveness however high on demandingness were characterized as dictator and guardians who were high on responsiveness yet low on demandingness were marked liberal.

Much of literature has investigated how parenting practices are associated with children‘s behaviors and outcomes (Kerr, Lopez, Olson, & Sameroff, 2004; Treyvaud et al., 2009). This study is specifically interested in how involved positive parenting (i.e., parenting that encourages child, spends quality time with child) is associated with preschool children‘s problem and prosocial behaviors. When parenting is positive, warm, and sensitive, preschool children have greater social-emotional competence (Treyvaud et al., 2009). When mothers are involved and use positive parenting practices child outcomes are better. For

• To examine different parenting styles to understand which style leads the children with problematic behavior. • To examine the impact of positive parenting on their children

• There would be a significant difference in the behavior of students with the introduction of positive parenting.

Parents serve a crucial role in the healthy development of a child. Parents should serve as a secure base and safe haven (Howe, 2011). Attachment theory, coined by John Bowlby (1958) gives insight into the basic behavioral strategies of humans from birth, which is bonding, to the parents. Attachment is a bond between two individuals in childhood and adulthood. According to Bowlby (1982), attachment is a ―strong desire to establish a contact or seek intimacy with a figure when the individual is scared, tired, or ill". It is essential to ensure safety and proximity which gives way to the evolutionary perspective of adaptedness (Bowlby, 1958; Howe, 2011). Attachment systems serve as a model for the child on how to respond to frightening situations based on previous interactions with the mother or another primary caregiver (Howe, 2011). This means that attachment and attachment systems also serve as an emotional regulator (Howe, 2011). If children feel these means, attachment also regulates affect (Howe, 2011). Every attachment system represents a ―behavioral strategies for managing stress under different care-giving patterns" (Howe, 2011, p. 24). This is why attachment patterns and the influence of parents is so crucial for the development of a socially, cognitively, and emotionally healthy being. Parents are a focal point for children to learn how to manage their physiological and emotional state, therefore to balance and control such states (Howe, 2011).

While there have been multiple attempts to conceptualize parenting styles in the past, Baumrind's distinguishing of styles by level of control is what has been most commonly used (Baumrind, 1971, 1991; Crittenden, Dallos, Landini & Kozlowska, 2014; Darling & Steinberg, 1993). Parenting styles are therefore viewed as a balance of a certain level of control from the parents complimented by the level of responsiveness the parent has towards the child (Baumrind, 1971, 1991; Crittenden, Dallos, Landini & Kozlowska, 2014; Darling & Steinberg, 1993). A style is not merely what the parent does in the means of behavior towards the child, but also the attitude the parent has while performing such behaviors, which builds the environment the child grows up in (Baumrind, 1971, 1991; Crittenden, Dallos, Landini

An authoritarian parent figures as a director for the child, the parent's voice is the one of strict discipline with the tendency of restricting and rejecting the child's actions (Baumrind, 1971, 1991). This mindset of parenting is rather black or white. The authoritarian parent may seem like the one that knows it all and is on top of the situation (Howe, 2011). This may be so because the parent sees the child as a duty and therefore is controlling over the child. An authoritarian mother may be herself rather avoidant and not be emotionally available, thus forcing the child to be self-reliant (Howe, 2011).

Permissive parents simply do not give much care to control the child as they seldom reach for punishments and the child may make his or her own decisions (Baumrind, 1971, 1991, 1966, 2005; Gonzalez, Greenwood, & WenHsu, 2001; Turner, Chandler, & Heffer, 2009). This is however not a completely negative approach towards the child. Permissive parents are rather tolerant towards the child, yet they are still they are responsive, providing them with emotional care and support the child rather than strict authority (Baumrind, 1971; 1991; 1966; 2005). However, these parents are not negligent, therefore one cannot categorize them as detached but rather as parents who do not force children to behave according to adult standards (Baumrind, 1971, 1991, 1966, 2005; MacCoby & Martin, 1983). Parents who are uninvolved do not attach to the child and are not emotionally supportive, which is not to be confused with permissive parenting (MacCoby & Martin, 1983)

Authoritative parenting is the synthesis of control and emotional responsiveness towards the child (Baumrind, 1971, 1991). These parents are figures the child can look up to. They are typically secure adults themselves, who behave in a way which ensures discipline, yet they can be playful friends too (Crittenden, Dallos, Landini & Kozlowska, 2014; Howe, 2011). Parents who are authoritative promote independence by being able to negotiate with the child, ensuring a balance between what is safe and discovering the world (Crittenden, Dallos, Landini & Kozlowska, 2014; Howe, 2011). The parents are involved in the child's activities, are fostering and caring but not overbearing. They are open and give reasons for their actions and rules However, a child does very much have an influence on the parent, which may steer one from a balanced reaction. To promote an authoritative parenting style, one does not have to practice perfect behavior.

The point of the present investigation is to analyze how engaged is the positive parenting and classroom enthusiastic help are related to problems faced by children and prosocial attitudes. Qualitative based technique for interviewing was taken in to concern and the primary information have been gathered through two top to bottom meetings directed with

A total number of ten students were selected for the study. The sample size was small due to adoption of

The sample taken for this study recommended by class teacher, further we counseled the child along with their parents.

Raising children in the 21st century is ―The Future Task Force on Family-School Partnerships. School look after the holistic development of children by providing them education, teaching values, participating in co-curricular activities , experiential learning, clubs, and assisting students with special needs and counseling students with their respective socio-emotional issues. But school alone cannot shape the personality of the students; parents need to work in collaboration with the school to develop a holistic personality of the child. Children in the current times are surrounded with facilities that were not provided to their parent earlier. Children‘s have the following concern • ―nobody understands me‖ • conflict with parents • peer becomes important • emotional changes • risky behavior • peer pressure • bullying

• confused about career Whereas on the other hand parents concern for their children are as follows: • Childs career • internet addiction • negative influence of their peers • no time for them • self-destructive behavior • procrastinating • risk taking behavior • managing child negative emotions • disagreement on everything • conflict and aggressive behavior • lying Thus, it becomes crucial for us to empower children by changing their focus, excitement, commitment, belief and ultimately their attitude. Parents needs to understand how do we communicate, what do they communicate, is it that they are always nagging. Its important to understand that ―everyone makes mistakes – it‘s ok‖. We should accept it and look forward to learn from them. For parents academics should not be the only criteria to love their children but to emphasis the importance of emotional quotient. We as a whole have various characters, various requirements and needs, and various methods for demonstrating our feelings. Exploring through this all takes civility and keenness – particularly in the event that we plan to prevail throughout everyday life. This is the place emotional intelligence ends up significant. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to perceive one's feelings, comprehend what they're letting you know, and acknowledge how your feelings influence individuals around you. It likewise includes your impression of others: when you see how they feel, this enables you to oversee connections all the more viably. It becomes important for us to understand whether the values given by our parents being carried forward to our children. As it‘s not about being a religious guru but being an individual with character such as So let‘s start with alphabets of ‗parenting‘, each alphabet attributes to many adjectives which lead to effective parenting. 5A‘S of Parenting : Active, avid reader, aware, affection, affirmative C: consistent, compassion, commitment control, communicative D for : dedicated, disciplined, determined, dependable P for : passion, presence, praise, patience H: happy, hopeful, honest, humble, harmonious A very important ingredient of Parenting is Vitamin ‗N‘ i.e. NO. Parents need to respond where they make their children understand the some luxurious needs of their cannot be provided to them whenever they wish for. DO‟S for parenting such as : • Compassionate parent tenants • Provide unconditional love, compassion, and acceptance • Instil optimism • Use guidance and discipline opportunities to teach skills in negotiation/cooperation. • MODEL (children learn from watching you) the Five R‘s of parenting: 1. Resourcefulness 2. Responsibility 3. Respect 4. Relationship investment 5. Regulation of impulses and emotions • DON‘T punish. • DON‘T worry about other opinions. • DO remain calm. • DO make sure the injured party is okay. • DO provide empathy and boundaries.

Thus this study found that when parenting is warm, supportive, and encouraging, children exhibit more pro-social behaviors. When parents practice these types of parenting styles, children benefit by continuing to develop pro-social and positive behaviors. Thus, positive parenting has shown a significant improvement in the behavior of children. It‘s a challenge of 21st century but if dealt positively with strong bonding and understanding between teachers and parents, we can together achieve success in developing the overall personality of the child.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/311451184_Influence_of_Parenting_Style_on_Children's_Behaviour https://www.researchgate.net/publication/267845974_Relationship_between_Parenting_Style_and_Children's_Behavior_Problems https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1161470.pdf https://epublications.marquette.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1377&context=dissertations_mu

Principal, Amity International School